Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize