He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
