This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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