I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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