Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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