I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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