BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize