Porn is love you can see.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
