So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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