So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
