I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
