i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
