i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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