i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think people are normalizing furries
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
