you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
