There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
