puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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