Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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