He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Two words: blizzard sex
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
