ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
