i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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