i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I am naked and annoyed.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
