Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
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