get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
