Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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