So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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