i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize