I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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