I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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