two words: eviction party
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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