Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
