So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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