R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
