I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
