not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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