I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
