I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
