I think I just saw someone hide a body.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
