i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
