God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
