Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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