Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
