i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
