my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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