bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
