Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
