i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
