There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
