Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
