I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
