"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Nicole vs. Life
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
