yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
