Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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