I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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