you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
