I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
fuck your aforementioned shoe
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
