4 words: hood of his car
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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