I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
