My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
