Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
