how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
