I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
