your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My hand turned me down
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
