i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
