I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I love you. Go after that dick
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
