Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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