Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
