i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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