She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
